Sweet Almond Oil

I know that I have previously talked about my hair loathing oils, and this still holds true to this day. 

If I apply pretty much any type of oil to my hair, my hair responds by frizzing to such an extent that my curls are no longer existent....I mean, at all.

 But...

As my hair gets longer I am finding that I need oil if I want to maintain, what I would call, a barrier or slip between one strand of hair and another.

 Why would I want to do this? Because if I don't, my hair ends will grab ahold of each other and hold on for dear life. 

Why do I care? Because I'm trying to retain my length and this type of "grabbing" causes me to pull, tug, and yank my hair strands apart. Um, can you say "severe damage"? If these hairs insist on holding each other so tightly , you can imagine how much mayhem I can inflict if I choose to fiddle with my hair for even a minimal period of time.

Now in my case, not all oils are created equal. I enjoy using coconut oil, but given that my hair is already coarse by nature, that is , the diameter of each hair strand is very large, and on top of that, my hair has low porosity, which means the "scales" on each strand are lying very flat, coconut oil tends to make these factors more pronounced. Making my hair appear even more coarse and my porosity even lower. 

Dry, straw city, ya'll. 

In essence, on my hair, coconut oil mimics a protein treatment. My hair strands are already relatively strong, so adding more "strength",  tends to make my hair act sort of like  "plastic".  Now, imagine for yourself, what happens to plastic if you try to bend it too much...yep, it will snap. Hence, the snap, crackle and popping I hear, if I I load up on coconut oil, or any other type of heavy protein, or protein mimicking oil.  Because coconut tends to provoke this kind of response in my hair, I only apply it to my scalp just before I shampoo, along with a few other oils, which I will go into more in another post. 

Ok, so enter my beloved, sweet almond oil. 



I've tried several oils, EVOO(extra virgin olive oil), avocado oil,  hemp oil, Shea butter...the list goes on. But no other oil helps me detangle like sweet almond oil. I am now adding it to everything - my deep treatments, my leave in, etc. In fact, it works so well for me that I can actually combine it with a "bit" of coconut oil - if I'm so inclined - and my ends still will not become too Velcro-y.

Score!! 

I'm not a scientist, so I have no idea why this is, it just is:0).

I also like to use it as my prepoo. Makes my hair feel great, very happy. The only time my hair has not been happy is when I applied sweet almond oil on dry hair and left it sit on my dry hair for too long, as in a couple of days. In that case, I noticed that my hair felt very dry. My ends still did not velcro, thankfully, but it was obvious that my hair became parched. 

Now, even with all this said...for whatever reason, I still contend that my hair just does not like oil. Sweet almond or otherwise, my hair will frizz like a mad hatter.  But again, at is point I am trying to retain length, so after I wash my hair and apply the sweet almond oil,  I will either braid or twist my hair and allow it to dry. Next day, I will remove my braids or twists and my hair is nicely maintained and ready for an updo. 

Just to be clear, I have absolutely nothing against frizz, I have frizz even without oil, it's the nature of my hair type. But the type of frizz I get when I apply oil is different. It is completely out of character for my hair, and actually makes my hair appear very damaged. I know that this is not the way my hair is naturally, because when I shampoo away the oil, the true texture of my hair comes back.  Nevertheless,  as I said before, my ends seem to love each other, so a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. And this girl has got to do oil - so sweet almond oil is it:0).

Ciao!!!

Honey Part Deux

I decided to talk about my experience with honey and touch on a few questions that inevidably come up whenever I mention honey to my friends and family.

First question:

...but isn't honey sticky?

Answer:

Yes, yes it is. But once you add water to it or a water based product, the sticky quality of honey seems to simply "melt" or mix right into the product. It no longer has that sticky, viscous property and tends to blend quite nicely. Don't believe me? Try it. Take a dab of honey and play with it on your hand. Touch it, feel the sticky nature of it. Now...add a few drops of water to it, rub the water into the honey...does it still feel sticky? Well, maybe it does if you have more honey on your hand than water, but if you try my suggestion of mixing 1 part honey to 4 parts water or a water based product, you should find that the stickiness has essentially dissolved - or rather evolved into something perhaps a bit sweeter;0).

Second question:

...but won't it attract bugs?

Answer: 

Well technically, yes. It could potentially attract bugs, but no more so than any other of the lovely products on the market that include honey as an ingredient or for that matter any other sweet "smelling" ingredients. For example, Darcy's Botanical Avocado Honey Twisting Creme, Oyin's Handmade Honey Hemp Conditioner, Qhemet Biologics Olive and Honey Hydrating Balm, or MyHoneyChild Honey Hair Creme. I always have to smile when people ask me this question, because more often than not, if I asked them if they would be willing to try the above products, they would more than likely nod an  unequivocal  "yes!", without even really thinking twice about it. But if I suggest they try adding a little honey to their leave-in conditioner, the same people tend to cringe, look with skepticism, and then concede that adding honey on their own to their own leave-in is just perhaps, a little more than frightening.

But does honey really attract bugs? Well, I guess it would depend on where you are. Are you lying on an ant mound in the middle of summer at a picnic? In that case, yes, yes you probably will attract bugs. Are you sitting in a field, at dusk just after you've stirred up all the knats by running a kite? Then yes, yes it probably will attract bugs. But I suppose it would be no more so than the amount of bugs you would stir up after lathering up with a heavy layer of Victoria Secret's Pure Seduction, and then going out to play soccer in the depths  of a cow field. Obviously, there's no honey involved in the Victoria Secrets product, but sweet things attract bugs...shoot, stinky things attract bugs, LOL. 

In my experience, however, since I have not engaged in the aforementioned activities or at least not to the extent that I have described, I can not say with 100% certainty that if you put honey in your hair, or apply  perfume to your skin, or if  *ahem* the "natural" smell of you emanates from your pores that you won't attract bugs. Anything it possible. Personally, I've never put my head on an ant mound, but I have run a kite in a field and stirred up the knats. I've  done this with honey in my hair and without. So I can tell you that the knat "attack" was equally irritating either way.  I stirred them up...they were not happy...I irritated them...they irritated me,  honey or no honey, I was in their domain...they took revenge... case closed.  For the most part though, Just doing my daily routine, that is my daily tasks out and about, I can tell you quite earnestly that I have not attracted any bugs to my hair by applying honey as my leave-in. I have, on the other hand, been almost eaten alive while playing golf after lathering my legs with Vasoline Intensive Care Aloe Fresh. The mosquitos didn't care a whole lot about my TWA, LOL, but they sho was happy knawing on my freshly lotioned calves:0).

Third question: Isn't honey a humectant? Won't it dry my hair out?

Answer: 

Well, it is possible that it might dry your hair out. I mean, anything is possible. For example, technically, cowashing is supposed to add more moisture to your hair and be a much healthier alternative to shampooing for curly hair. That is cowashing or low pooing or no pooing rather than cleaning my hair with products that contain SLS. But in my case, however, cowashing was a complete disaster. First off, I started shedding like a vitamin deficient Siberian Husky. In particular, I noticed my scalp feeling extremely sore and even noticed thinning along my hair line. NOT GOOD. Once I started shampooing again with an SLS product, my shedding slowed substantially and came into a more normal shed range (everyone sheds).  Additionally, after I started shampooing, the soreness of my scalp became virtually none existent, and all of a sudden I had a lovely hallow of baby hairs spouting up all over my head to replace the large amount of hair I had lost due to shedding. Now, I could have continued to cowash and avoid SLS shampoo simply because everyone else seemed to think that cowashing is so fabulous. But thankfully, I didn't do that, I listened to my hair, and things turned out just fine. Lesson learned.

What does this mean as it pertains to honey? It means every head is different. My hair may love honey. Yours may not. Where honey allows my hair to stay moisturized for days, on your hair it might cause dryness , or frizz or any number of other things. There is always a chance it might not be a good fit for you.  If you have been on your hair journey for even a short period of time, I'm sure by now it's become painfully clear that what works for one might not work for another. And especially if you tend to have "quirky" hair like mine - coarse, low porosity, and mega thick. To me, however, honey is such a natural and gentle alternative that it seems worth it to see if it's a good fit. Chances are you can try it once and know whether it's going to work for you. If it's a no go, then no harm done, but, oh Hunny OH, if it's a good fit. I think you're going to be truly thrilled.

Thanks for reading!

Ciao!!!

It's Honey, Hunny!

To say that I've been hiding under a rock when it comes to using honey in my hair would be a bit harsh - I mean, I've  heard of it's wonders..I've even tried honey in products such as, Oyin Honey Hemp Conditioner and Qhemet Biologic's Olive and Honey Hydrating Balm, and I've enjoyed them. They are good products.  But I guess in my own limited experience, I just assumed that the goodness that IS those products was due to the complete compilation of all the ingredients there in. And perhaps that's true. But oh Hunny oh, was I missing out on the beauty of the one primary ingredient in those products that has now become my new obsession. The one ingredient that can take an el cheapo product like a 99 cent bottle of VO5 conditioner and make it into a SHAZAM!!!

Cue the Olympics fanfare music please, and BAM!





Oh, isn't it lovely?

Yes, yes, I know...you're thinking, "But Onyx, it's just honey...I mean, come on, made by bugs, sticky, yellow, blah, blah, blah.. who hasn't seen or heard about honey for hair?? Ah lame...just saying" *insert eye roll here*.

And I would agree - the benefits of honey have been touted all over the Internet for ages. And if you are one of the spiritually aware ones who actually heard the calls and moved into the light, then this blog post isn't for you. You've already been enlightened by the divinity that is honey:0). But for those of you who are like me who kept the blinders on, either because the idea of placing something sticky on your head frightened the holy hemp seeds out of you, or simply because you are new to hair care - this post is for you.

I'm not going to go into a whole lot of scientific jargon about the chemical makeup of honey. You can look that up for yourself. I'm simply going to tell you how I have been using it and why I adore it. Ready?

I've been using it as a leave-in! I know, crazy huh? I've been taking a full tablespoon of honey and mixing it into my leave-in conditioner (which actually isn't a leave in, it's Aussie Moist, a rinse out conditioner, which also contains cones, but I digress). That's it. I shampoo my hair, add a little honey, sweet almond oil, and a splash of aloe vera juice to my Biolage Conditioning Balm, let that sit a few minutes, then rinse and then apply my honey and leave-in conditioner. I use a lot of leave in, because I've got a lot of hair. So for those of you who want an actual recipe, but don't like to slather on loads of leave-in, I would just say, make your portions, 1 part honey to 4 parts leave-in conditioner.

Goodness, this combination has made a difference in my hair. It is more supple, the texture is softer, and my moisture retention goes on for days. I have coarse hair with low porosity, so for those of you familiar with this type of hair, you know that suppleness, softness, and moisture retention are a pretty big deal.

Now, I won't try to convince you to try it, there is a "calling" and you have to hear that calling for yourself ;0). I would just "suggest" you maybe try it once, see what you think. Aren't you just a little bit curious?:0D

Ciao!!!

How Autism Has Touched My Life

I know that this post is not hair related, I'm anxious to get back to blogging about hair. I felt, however, that since you good folks were kind enough to stick with me, I thought it only fair that I share with you why I disappeared for so long.

There was a time when the thought of sharing this information with anyone would have been so overwhelming as to bring on a sobbing episode in me that was virtually uncontrollable. I would love to sit here and write that I was this strong woman with an elephant's load of resolve,  who began this journey snarling my teeth and prepped for the battle. The truth is, when my daughter was diagnosed with PDD-NOS, which falls on the autism spectrum, I can only tell you honestly that by the end of that first day, I  was crumbled up in a ball on the floor crying as I don't think I ever have before cried in my life. I would love to tell you that I pushed my shoulders back, and put my trust in the glory of  our Creator to make everything alright, as in, "glory for ashes" and all that. But the  truth is, I was so angry at our "Creator" that I questioned with every ounce of my soul whether a "Creator" in this crazy, dark and evil world even existed. Everything I believed in, everything that I had hoped for had just been turned upside down, and for the first in my life I got to take good long look at what I was made of. And to be quite frank, it wasn't a pretty sight.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with PDD-NOS, here is some additional information. It, of course, is just a basic overview. My daughter does not fall squarely into this "box", but at the onset, she had quite a few of the listed symptoms. I don't want to get into a long drawn out discussion about the diagnosis, truly I just wanted you to know why I was gone for so long.

So where am I, or more importantly, where is my daughter at at this point in the journey? Well, I'm happy to report that she is doing very well, and in fact, she is on a road to recovery. By recovery, I simply mean that with this diagnosis comes a number of various physical anomalies that can also plague these beautiful young children. In my daughter's case, she had a multitude of gastrointestinal issues that had us running back and forth to the ER more times than I care to count. But in the last couple of years we have been able to locate a doctor that has been helping her with her stomach issues, and curiously enough, when her stomach is well, the majority of the other symptoms she has with this diagnosis go away a well. In fact, when I share with others that she has this diagnosis, pretty much everyone replies that they would have never guessed. At the beginning of our journey this was not the case.

As for me, I've discovered that I'm stronger than I thought I was. I discovered that it's ok to cry for what I feel is painful or unfair, that having a stiff upper lip is just another word for stomach ulcer. My strength comes from knowing that I can help my beautiful child make it through this process - for her I have this strength.

 I have reconciled with my Creator. I had previously been tormented by the fact that I and my husband had feverishly prayed over my belly for the health of our unborn child. When this obviously had not protected her in the way that I had hoped, I questioned my faith. But truly, for me, there is no hope AT ALL without faith. For me, believing is a choice...I choose to believe and trust that all things work for good for those who believe. I CHOOSE to believe.

 I don't have all the answers and that's ok. It wasn't ok when we first began. I have no idea why the incidence of autism has gone up 20 + fold since 1990.  Is it the tap water, is it vaccinations, is it wireless radiation? I don't know. And let's not even get me started on the whole genetic aspects, because I have pretty much torn my family and my husband's family medical history apart, trying to find answers, but there weren't any.

I  don't  know.  BUT, what I do know is this, just as with everything that happens in this life... it is a journey, a transition, a new path to take.  I didn't pick this path, I wouldn't have. I would have chosen one infinitely easier, but it is what it is. Even with all of that said though, I did have one choice to make - I could either stay on that floor, crawling through life with my vision blurred from tears and heartache OR I  could stand up, and begin to walk, one step at a time. My vision would still be blurred from time to time, because the tears did and will continue to come, but some of those tears are and will be made of joy.  The  point is, I chose to move forward. The love I feel for my child gave me the strength to get up off of that floor and move forward.

Where am I at this point in the journey? I am here - The journey continues...


Thank you for reading.

Ciao!!